Happy Baby News

Last week an ultrasound confirmed what we had thought: we have a perfectly healthy GIRL!!!

Do you see her leg (look for the two leg bones) in front of her face? She is already practicing yoga. Or as Charlie would say, she is "doing the yoda."

We are so happy that it looks like all of the craziness of the last few weeks has left her unscathed and we are so excited to meet her in October!!!

A (long) Tumor Update

Warning: This is a long post! I didn't want to leave it totally without pictures so I have included the following comic. I relate to it a little too well.

I think I am starting to get over the shock of T-Day (Tumor Day, as we now refer to Monday, April 22). God has put some miracles and tender mercies in our path that let us know that we are loved, that I am loved, that He knew about this all along, and that I am going to be alright. I have long heard the advice to look for evidence of God's love for you each day. It would be a flat out lie if I said that I haven't had some pretty dark and depressing moments these past few weeks, but each day I haven't even had to search for evidence that God loves me; it has just been right there. It has come in many forms such as a friend calling and taking me to get my first pedicure right after an embarrassing seizure at Costco, or an uplifting text from a family member when I needed it most, or simply Charlie making doing something funny enough to make me laugh when I needed it most.

The biggest one would have to be the miracle of my neurosurgeon. Duke University, home of a pretty good basketball team as well as the world's leaders in neurosurgery, is just twenty-five minutes away from us. However the brain tumor center at Duke has a screening process that takes 4-6 months to get through. Keith and I knew that we wanted to get into that center and so we buckled down for the long process. In the mean time, a week after being released from the hospital, I had a follow-up appointment with the neurologist, Dr. Bowman, who happened to be on-call the night the ambulance brought me in. During the follow-up appointment we brought up the topic of the Duke brain tumor center and requested a referral so that we could start the screening process. The doctor's response took us both by surprise. He explained that when he saw me in the hospital he knew I needed to be at Duke so he called the director of the brain tumor center, Dr. Friedman (who just so happens to be his good friend). Dr. Friedman said that he could meet us as soon as it was convenient for us. Dr. Bowman said he had just wanted to clear it with us before he set anything up. We enthusiastically gave our consent and he left the exam room to give Dr. Friedman a call. A few minutes later he came back a told us that if we could leave right then, Dr. Friedman would wait for us and see us right away.

On our drive to Duke that day Keith and I went back and forth between being amazed that this all had come about so easily and quickly, and expressing how weird it is that we were that happy to be going to see a neurosurgeon! Things had fallen in place so quickly that when we arrived at the brain tumor center none of staff were expecting us and had thought that Dr. Friedman had gone home early. Eventually they tracked him down and learned that he indeed was expecting our arrival, though he was the only one.

We met with him and his PA in his office, (which is everything you would imagine a brain surgeon's office to look like) and together we talked about the details of my situation, my options, and came up with a plan. It was also the first time that either Keith or I had seen the MRI images of the tumor. Shocking and scary are the terms that come first to mind but they seem rather mild ways to describe what we were feeling. It was HUGE and it was in MY BRAIN!!! The rest of the visit and stuff that was discussed had some scary parts too. The thing that kept me from panic was this little voice that would occasionally remind me of events long in the past that had led us here. Those forks in the road of life that suddenly held so much more meaning. It kept reassuring me that we were not there having this meeting be accident and that it would all be okay.

So the plan in brief is to remove as much of the brain tumor about a month after our little one is born. The more they can remove the better my long-term outcome looks. In order to remove as much as possible without removing brain tissue (which would be bad) I need to be awake for a portion of the operation so the surgeon can "map" my brain and more clearly tell what is brain and what is tumor. Freaky? Most definitely. But I am hoping the experience will one day make for a good blog post.

Dr. Friedman emphasized that the recovery process would not be a walk in the park. Keith brought up later that it sounds more like my dad's version of a walk in the park (i.e. Rainier, Denali, etc). I will won't be able to speak and will be paralyzed on my right side for a few days. It will be several weeks before I am fully functional again. Oh, and did I mention that we will have a two-year old and a two-month old at this time? Daunting? Yes. But I am thankful for the time that we have to prepare and the family we have that are so willing to help.

In the meantime we are focusing on getting these persistent seizures under control (which is turning out to be more complicated than we thought) and growing a healthy baby.

It has been humbling and encouraging to hear that so many people are praying for me and my little family. Thank you so much!

Brain Surgery vs Rocket Science

So I was working on a blog post and progress was agonizingly slow. Then Keith came into the room and showed me this little video, at which point I quickly saved my post for another day and decided to share this little gem with you all.

I hope it makes you all laugh as much as I did.

Life Changes So Fast

I was planning a blog post to announce that I am pregnant (due in Oct.) when Keith suddenly developed an ulcer in the lower third of his esophagus and couldn't eat. Long story short, we don't know what caused it but it appears to be getting better.

Then Sunday night at 3am I had a grand-mal seizure.

Keith called 911 and I taken to the hospital. I don't remember anything until part way through my stay in the ER. Turns out I have a slow growing tumor (about the size of an egg) in the left side of my brain. I was moved to the intensive care unit and stayed there until Tuesday afternoon when I went home. I am on an anti-seizure med but am still having mini-seizures in my right hand and sometimes when I am talking and focusing hard on a thought I get stuttering. Other little things like signing my name gives me trouble and you wouldn't believe how long it is taking me to type this! But all that should get better with time.

So what to do about that tumor...  Well, removing it has some risks involving speech and motor skills and because it is slow growing their isn't any harm in leaving it there for now. So the plan is to stay on the anti-seizure med for the duration of the pregnancy at which point I will do more testing and discuss tumor removal options.

Whenever I focus on the fact that I have a brain tumor too much I get a bit scared. It helps to remember that God works His miracles in His own way and I can trust Him to do what is best. I have already seen His tender mercies through the timing of all this. If I had had the seizure earlier in the pregnancy the anti-seizure med could have hurt the baby. But by having when I did it allows us time to learn about our options before making a decision.

I appreciate any prayers sent my way.

P.S. Happy Anniversary to my sweetheart of four years today! Words can not express how much I love you.

A Most Wonderful Easter Weekend and a Trip of a Historical Nature

 

One of the places I have wanted to visit the most during our time in North Carolina is Biltmore Estate just outside of Asheville. That desire has only increased since watching Downton Abbey.  :)
Biltmore (finished in 1895) was the home of George Vanderbilt and his family. It is the largest privately owned home in the US.

 Charlie (and his parents) wouldn't have enjoyed this trip nearly as much if it hadn't been for the presence of his Gramma and Grampa Temus. Grampa was just finishing his weeks of work in Greensboro and Gramma flew out to join in the fun. Keith and I explored (a small portion of) the extensive grounds with Charlie while the grandparents toured the house and then we switched, leaving Charlie with his Ama and Papa. He napped in the stroller and ran around outside while Keith and I enjoyed a few hours of a mini-date on our tour of the house. As Charlie's brief stint inside the house proved, touring it all together would have been impossible and would have included a whole lot of melt-downs over not being able to run around and touch everything.

 I actually first heard of Biltmore back in my undergrad days in a few of my forestry classes. George Vanderbilt wanted a scientifically-managed forest for the large unfarmed area of his property. To achieve this he hired Frederick Olmstead, a landscape architect, to manage the forest. Olmstead published the first scientific article on forest conservation and management from his work at Biltmore. He convinced Vanderbilt to hire Gifford Pinchot whose forestry management plan for Biltmore became the national model for forestry management. He created the first forest management school during his time at Biltmore and when he left he went to Washington D.C. to head the division that would later become the U.S. Forest Service. So all this just goes to show that Biltmore plays a bigger role in conservation and land management than is immediately evident.

Spring was just hitting the Appalachians (where Biltmore is located) so the huge gardens weren't doing much, but the large conservatory was full of color! Vanderbilt, along with the rest of high society at the time, was a collector of orchids and they were on display in mass.

Photographs weren't allowed inside, but it was pretty awesome. I had a few favorite rooms, loved the views from the upper levels, was very impressed by the unique architecture, but the basement and the servants areas were absolutely fascinating. The methods and new technology of the day that they utilized to cook, do laundry, and do everything else that it needed to keep a place of that magnitude running every day were really interesting to me. If you ever get a chance to visit, I would highly reccomend it!

 

Thanks Mom and Dad for coming with us and making the trip even better!

On our way back to the hotel we stopped by a little village on the estate that was established for the estate workers. It now has a little petting zoo (the chickens were the only ones out and about when we came by) and shops.
 
The highlight of the village visit for me was buying Charlie ice cream for the first time. Charlie can have most sorbets but going to restaurants, including ice cream shops, with PKU generally stresses me out a bit. We are getting better at it though, realizing the it is going to be a necessary skill for Charlie in the future. Picking something out for Charlie at the ice cream shop would mean asking extra questions at the counter and I have a tendency to not be gutsy in situations like these, so when I saw how very busy the place was I almost decided against it. The lady taking my order was very helpful though and took the time to locate and let me read the ingredient list of the the only dairy-free sorbet they carried. It was perfect for Charlie and he was thrilled but might have loved sharing with everyone else more. It gave me a lot of mommy-satisfaction to see my boy eating ice cream at the ice cream shop just like everybody else.

 

The next morning we explored Asheville a bit (oh the chocolate shop!!!) and then headed home. Two hours down the road (about halfway home) we stopped by a place called Old Salem which is a preserved/restored colonial town that was settled by the Moravians (a Protestant group from what is now the Czech Republic).

Our favorite part was the cemetery. It was Easter weekend so the community was getting ready for the traditional Moravian Easter sunrise celebration. Flowers were placed at each of the uniform headstones and early Easter morning the congregation and community would gather to parade through the cemetery, sing, and celebrate both Christ's ressurection and the coming ressurection of their loved ones. I loved both the simplicity of the cemetery (no ostentatious headstones) and the joy that they put as the focus of Easter.

Upper right: The second church they built here with the small old cemetery in front. It was interesting to note that people were buried in groups based on gender, age, and if they were a Moravian or not. There weren't family plots. Bottom right: the first church they built (out of logs) when the Moravians settled here.

We had a pretty low-key Easter the next day at home. Church, and the messages of hope, peace, and joy were the highlights of the day. Charlie all dressed up in his new Easter outfit and playing with his Easter basket was pretty great too. ;)
I, along with many others in the family, felt like this was the most meaningful Easter we had ever had. The promise of the resurrection is a lot more meaningful now and we hope for it and look forward to it more than ever. For it is then when we can be reunited with Brooke and all those who have passed on. I can't even express what that means to me. It is too big for words.

The turtles chose Easter weekend to leave hibernation behind and join the world again. It is fun to see them again.

Thank you again Mom and Dad for a wonderful Easter weekend!

Utah Family Time (Part 2)

(Warning: this post contains a whole lot of pictures. Enjoy.)
By the end of our week in Utah all of the Merrill family had arrived and we were geared up for some serious family time. It kicked off on Friday with a big get together for Grandma Lowe's (Bonnie's mom) 80th birthday. All of Grandma and Grandpa Lowe's descendents were there, which was pretty awesome.

Getting pictures taken and Charlie waiting his turn. At least we got the smaller family pictures taken before the meltdown.

We got family pictures taken to record the event. The huge family picture was last, and unfortunately Charlie was passionately voicing his dislike of cooperating for pictures by that point. We temporarily pacified him with blueberries, so depending on which picture Grandma and Grandpa decide on Charlie will either be the kid screaming and thrashing, or stuffing blueberries into his mouth.


After the picture taking trauma was over we blew off some steam by goofing around while the more mature adults talked about good ol' days. Overall it was a fun night and a great time to celebrate Grandma Lowe and family in general.


The next day was another special day. Katelyn, Joe and Bonnie's eldest grandchild, was baptized!  When Katelyn was told that they would be coming to Utah soon after her 8th birthday she chose to be baptized there so we could all attend instead of at home in Germany. Thanks for letting us be a part of your special day!


 That evening my brothers (Joe made the trek down from Idaho to see me... I mean see Charlie) and the entire Merrill clan (including Jenae's parents who came from Arizona for the baptism) went out to dinner to the Golden Corral. It has been a while since I have visited the Golden Corral but it's moved up a few notches in my rankings when I realized how much there was that Charlie could eat. All we had to bring from home for him was a piece of low-pro bread, and that is pretty awesome.

In between big family events we made use of Gramma B and Grampa Joe's backyard. It only takes living in an apartment with a toddler for a short time for one to more fully appreciate the wonderful thing that a backyard is.

Gold Finches on Grampa Joe's feeder.

Armed with a big stick and "sundaddies" Charlie takes on the snow patches.

Seconds before I snapped this picture I told the cooks to give me their best "Russian smile." I love the result. Shawn instantly got into character and Joe just gave me a big "Joe smile."

 Then on Sunday there was some magic in the kitchen. This particular type of magic is called borscht, and I eat it up whenever I can. Shawn, who served a mission in western Russia, was the head chef, and Joe, who served a mission in eastern Russia, was the sous chef. I assisted with chopping potatoes and extensive taste testing.

 Before Jenae's parents left that afternoon Paul presented them and his parents with flags that he flew in the plane during his flight nurse missions while stationed in Germany.



 Sunday was also the last time we will see "Bug" (Alex) in a long while. He recently received his mission call to the Romania/Moldova Mission, Russian speaking and reports to the MTC in June. We will miss him but are also so excited and happy for him!

Singing and playing the "frowny face song" (If you Chance to Meet a Frown), Charlie and Trevor watching the garbage truck in the morning, and Charlie and Tanner hitching shoulder rides.

 Monday we flew back to North Carolina but took all the grandkids to a play area in the mall to get some wiggles out before hand. We are all missing Uncle Shawn!

Playing with dinosaurs and watching trucks in Denver, and enjoying having his own seat on the plane now that he is so grown up.

 We had a fabulous time in Utah and are so very happy that we got to spend time with family that we haven't seen in a long, long time. We love you guys!

Charlie+Snow+Talking=Cute